Pledging My Time

By Peter Rodman


"Time keeps on tickin', tickin', tickin', into the future..." --Steve Miller

I don’t know exactly when it was that I began to accumulate so many clocks. Years ago, I had only four or five clocks to change, when Spring would ‘spring forward,’ and Fall would "fall back."
Now, I find myself scurrying around the house, in a stress-filled ritual that takes an hour of its own, merely to rediscover the many clocks which, tonight, demanded my time.
The clocks, they are a-changin'--but in this house, when 'times change,' it takes a lot more time, than it used to.
One thing I do, that I'm not sure everybody does, is that I have certain clocks set 'faster' than others.  Alarm clocks, ten to fifteen minutes.  Office clocks, likewise.  But I always keep my kitchen clocks and my watches as accurate as possible, so the last thing I see, going out the door, is the reality of my dilemna.  Hey...time is short.
If you're not careful, even that car clock could throw you off, today.
It always amuses me, when otherwise intellegent people panic on airplanes, thinking they're going to miss their connections, simply because they refuse to change their watches, after takeoff. 
"I always leave my watch set for home!" they'll boast, as if staying in the wrong time-zone is something to be proud of. 
Honestly, does that approach ever really work, for anybody?
I subscribe to the old hippie adage:

"Be here now."

And change your freakin' watch to where you are, Einstein!

Got a sec?
I must say, I liked the old 'Daylight Savings Time' routine, much better. 
These days, it's March-and-November, when we jump back and forth (or forth and back, in truth) but I liked it much better, when it was in April-and-October.  Congress somehow became convinced that we'd all save lots of money, if the sun was up more often, when we were driving home...or something. 
Maybe it's just me, but as time goes by, I'm more and more resistant to change.
I'd like to know who 'took the minutes' at that hearing.

My kitchen clock is a pretty reasonable facsimile of the old “standard” clocks we had in elementary school, during the ‘50s. I found it in an old hardware store in Nashville--so dusty and shopworn, that the clerk couldn’t even remember whether or not it was for sale, let alone at what price!
How long had it been there?
Nobody knew; a long time.
I think they finally decided to charge me around $8 for it. 

This is the kitchen clock,
which reminds me of the
pilfered courthouse clock,
which reminded me of all
the clocks in grade school. 


In truth, this clock replicates yet another clock I had, just like it, back in Colorado--going back decades, now.
It, too, was a replica of that same old ‘school clock’ we all knew and loved/hated, but I am going to take a huge risk here, and confess to you that in procuring it, I may actually have committed a crime--and quite possibly, a  federal crime:
I stole it.
That’s right, I took it.
I’m not proud of this, either...

It was 35 years ago. I’d been summoned to the Federal Courthouse in downtown Denver, sometime during the mid ‘70s, and I only remember that I had to wear a tie, and that is all I remember. No, I wasn’t a witness; nor a defendant, or a job applicant…but I’ll be darned if I can remember exactly why I was there!
I just remember that I had to show up, and that they completely wasted my day.
Could it have been to obtain (or renew) my FCC broadcasting license?
Quite possible--back in those days, they were a lot more discriminating about who got on the air.
(Well...not that discriminating:  I got on!)
I honestly can’t remember what it was about, but it was some sort of meaningless legal exercise, I remember that much..
Anyway, long story short, I’d moved my car several times,  to avoid getting any parking tickets, because whatever it was took most of the day, and my time kept running out, on the meters.
While jumping in and out of the building, I began to notice that each time I entered and left, there remained a forelorn pile of junk, near the courthouse door--rusty nails on broken lumber, empty paint cans, and a clock laying there near the top, its wire carelessly tangled throughout the mess--next to an overstuffed garbage can, all of it, obviously,  headed out into certain oblivion.
On about my fifth trip back and forth, I noticed that they’d “updated” all of the other working clocks in the courthouse building, but this one--with its nearly ‘art deco’ numbers from what looked like the late '30s, was decidedly the 'odd man out'--and set to be discarded, for sure. 
You might say its time had come and gone.
So, I like to think I 'rescued' it.
If that's true, I actually saved time, down at the Courthouse that day.
No wonder I found that clock fascinating... 
I'd stared at one just like it--all day, every day--throughout my 'single-digit years' on this planet...just willing the time to go faster, in class.
And no wonder everyone looked at me like I was crazy, when I expressed an interest in it.
This was 1975. 
The last thing on anybody else's mind, was summoning up some sort of  'nostalgia,' for an institutional-looking clock which recalled nothing, if not a repressive time in America we'd only recently escaped, during the '60s.
Anyway, as the shadows grew longer and my tie got loosened, I finally got up the courage (read: bad judgment) to first pick up the clock and look it over, then ask a few office people in the hallway if they knew what was up with it, and finally, yes…I just took it. Nobody thought that was a bad idea. (Then too, the guys I had decided not to ask all had uniforms on.)
In retrospect, I kinda wish I hadn't...but hey, it was garbage to them!  Still...it's one of those moments you just can't take back.
I sincerely hope enough time has passed, that my 'federal crime' is no longer prosecutable.
If they do come after me, I can only hope they'll give me 'time served.'
After all, would that clock have been any better served, in a Denver landfill? 
And what is life, if not a series of stolen moments? 
(Okay...I'll stop now.)

Alas, the statute of limitations on the clock itself was only a couple of years, on my Boulder kitchen wall. I would like to add that I would not do that, today. It was wrong; but, hey...nice clock!
Under the kitchen replica of the courthouse replica of the school clocks, hangs a hand-painted, wooden piece of pie, given to me by my octogenarian Aunt and Uncle, a few years back. It says,

“LIFE IS UNCERTAIN...

EAT DESSERT FIRST."

My uncle has since passed away--but it makes me smile, to know that he felt that way, even 88 years into this adventure.
A wiser statement about time could hardly be found. 
Never "save it for later."

People use time as an excuse all the time.  "I ran out of time." 
"The time got away from me." 
I remember when George W. Bush was in office, we were constantly told, "Now is not the time" to question things, and "there'll be time for that, later on." Now, those same people are telling us, "Time is running out! We have to act now, before it's too late!"

During the ‘60s, I had an inordinate fascination with ‘clock-radios.’

These represented the cheapest way to A.) feel like a real teenager, even if you were only ten; B.) gain freedom from your parents, by staying in your room with something really cool to do, like listen to the radio all night; C.) buy something ‘ultra-modern’ looking and sleek, every year or two, that instantly became the sleekest, most ‘ultra-modern’ looking thing in your room; and oh, yeah…D.) to help wake you up for school.
When all the clock-radios finally went digital, I lost my fascination for them. My last clock-radio now resides in the guest room, here. It’s one of those ‘80s Sony “Dream Machine” cube thingys, and it may well be the last digital thing I truly DO know how to 'program.' (When they took the next step and put two clocks to program in each “Dream Machine,” that’s when they finally lost me.) 

But if they ever bring back those Jetsons-like 60s clock-radios, I’m in!

There’s a large 'Beatles' clock on the wall in my office; you can’t miss it. But I almost did last night, when re-setting all the clocks. Fact is, I never really look over that way, because it’s surrounded by the floor-to-ceiling photographs and memorabilia from my life, hung mostly to amuse any guests I might have, though I rarely do. I simply ignore it all.
A few people have bought me “CD clocks” or "record clocks," over the years. There are a couple of those, still around.

Then there’s one clock I keep, specifically because it goes backwards, when the batteries get low. (I ain't kiddin'...check out the video, below.)
It reminds me of a truly weird night at my apartment in Chicago, when I awoke in the middle of the night with an awareness that a deceased friend (and as it happens, a fairly popular singer) was "right there in the room," with us, in spirit!
I remembered that this friend had told me of  Carlos Castaneda; I was more into Archie Bunker.
Anyway, I woke my new girlfriend up to tell her the great news, that my dead friend was 'right here with us!'-- and it's a measure of her devotion to me, that she wasn't out the door immediately.
Realizing this sounded insane, and not one to believe in the 'occult' at all, I decided to get up and wash my face--to rid myself of this ridiculous dream I'd had.
In the bathroom, all soaped up, I took a glance at one of those little alarm clocks you keep around, just in case you need an extra--for when you have to catch a plane, or something...and, sure enough…the little bastard was (I am not making this up) ticking backwards!
Whoa…..spooky!!!  Even my girlfriend found this impressive. 
Think I'm lyin'?
Check THIS out:

So I did the reasonable thing, by 1985 standards (not!), which was to call the deceased female singer's ‘ex’ in Hawaii, “long distance” (not cheap, back in pre-cell days) at one in the morning, their time.
“Yeah,” he said matter-of-factly, “Peter, this has been happening to everyone lately. I’m getting all kinds of calls like this, about her 'visiting' people. I believe in it; and I know she did. Now…can I go back to bed, please?”
Fact is, I don’t. Believe in 'it,' that is. Whatever 'it' is. Hey, I wasn't born yesterday!
But I still like to keep my backwards clock around anyway…and the next day, I replaced the battery, in Chicago.

"Ahh, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that, now."--Bob Dylan

I’m happiest when it gets dark early, frankly. If it’s “5 o’Clock Somewhere” and it’s not dusk yet, you won’t find me celebrating--not even if Jimmy Buffet himself offers to buy the cocktails.

I know what you're thinking:
'When was the last time
you got your clock cleaned?'

My most reliable clock ever has been this well-worn 50 cent 'road clock' I bought in Beijing, which has always functioned like, ummm, clockwork--though it looks somewhat the worse for wear, now. 
But the truth is, one of my few inate 'talents' is my inner clock.
It never lets me down.
I can set an alarm, no matter where in the world I am, and I almost never need it. My internal clock will almost always wake me up, moments before the alarm goes off.
(I’m not saying I’m worth anything when I first get up, believe me. In fact, I'm not. It’s just that I will be up on time, without benefit of clocks at all.)
After reading this, you may think my place worthy of an episode of Hoarders, but this is only partially true. There are things I relentlessly collect--but that‘s another whole column. 
What sets clocks apart (apart from me setting them) is that my clock collection, unlike all the other collections, has grown inadvertently.
I had no idea last year that I would own more clocks this year.

On a recent visit to a local gift shop, I went in with money and came out with a bag full of novelties (read: junk that amused me), one of which was this irresistible wind-up alarm clock with actual bells on top, like something out of a retro-Bugs Bunny cartoon. I’ve yet to set the alarm, but can’t wait for the brrrrrriiiinnnggg to happen, when I finally do.
“Brrrrrring it on.”
So overnight, after changing not only the clocks, but the timers, the DVRs, DVDs, cameras, ovens, microwaves, and more than a dozen watches, I will have truly put in my time.

Well, it's time for me to go now. 
I don't know where the time has gone, do you?
Perhaps, as Yogi Berra once put it, "It got late early."
All tolled, I’m guessing thirty or more clocks and watches got changed, last night.
I don’t begrudge Daylight Savings Time, although I more or less come down on the side of the Rolling Stones, who famously sang:

“Sunshine bores the daylights outta me!”

I guess it's very important that we all keep moving forward each year...until the fall.
Perhaps another Dylan quote best portrays my internal conversation with all these clocks, as I change them...and they change me:

"Well, early in the mornin’
’Til late at night
I got a poison headache
But I feel all right
I’m pledging my time to you
Hopin’ you’ll come through, too."

______________________________________________________
This column and all the photographs herein are Copyright 2011 by Peter Rodman.  All Rights Reserved.

RELEVANT LINKS:

To hear Bob Dylan's "Pledging My Time," go to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZ24lH39GSY
And here's Larry Cordle--a Nashville legend, performing his sublime "Lonesome Standard Time," at the fabled Station Inn:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMMB6rUoPHg

Exclusive!! Colonel Khadaffi Addresses the Nation!

By Peter Rodman

Through diplomatic sources and delicate back-channels, I have just received the exclusive advance text of a speech by Libyan leader Colonel Moammar Kadaffi, who is about to speak to his nation, and the world.  Below is the full text of this historic address, from the besieged leader of Libya:
"My dear, Fellow Citizens of Libya, and All you Rotting Dogs with Smelly Coats and Fleas, who want me out:
First of all, who stole my Girl Scout cookies?  I distinctly remember leaving them on the table, next to my rocket launcher.  I have searched the entire house--plus, every house in the area-- and I know that it’s none of my trusted assistants who committed this heinous act, because I killed them all.
Anyway, I am officially announcing a “no harm your fowl” policy, as regards the immediate return of my Thin Mints.  There will be no questions asked.  Seriously.  There never are! Hah!  See, I can be funny, when I want to be.
Okay. Back to the issue: Many of you seem to have portrayed me as a tyrant. Well, I am not a tyrant. The guy in Afghanistan, that guy is a tyrant--with his green outfit that he always wears. Those are my curtains, I tell you. I spit on my curtains.
Do this uniform look green? NO. It does not.

That is because it is a sleek, brown microfibre--almost like the fringe jacket Neil Young used to wear, in the Buffalo Springfield. Ahhh, but I have added a twist--this beautiful hat! And I have subtracted another twist, well actually 154 twists--that would be the fringes. No fringes!!!
And I say to you, my fellow Libyans, I will not tolerate any further fringe elements in this great country of mine! Ours, I mean.
This is what I have come to discuss with you tonight, in our moment of great crisis. I firmly believe the Denver Nuggets gave away the store, by trading Carmello to the Knicks--and read my lips: I will NOT give away the store! NOT! STORE!!!
Sorry, my passion persists for my countrymen, and the accusations which come from the American dogs who accuse me are wrong. I will take on this man, this 'Obama' man, one-on-one--anytime, on my home court--and we will then see who is ready to win, and who is ready to kill the winner. That'd be me!
Libya has a rich history of being poor.
I have done my best to preserve that history, and keep the outside forces of wealth from infecting the lives of everyday Libyans, who work hard not to make too much money, which as the world knows, is the root of all evil. THIS is why I keep the money. I am a money martyr, like a money market, only not.
I am the person invested in maintaining the type of Libya which other countries depend upon, not just for oil, but for enemies. Without enemies, there is no motivation. I have motivated every western nation on the planet. The planet should thank me, for my motivation. Right now, what I am doing?  This is motivational speaking, my friends!  Joel Osteen is nothing, next to me!  His wife's okay--I once saw them on Larry King--but they should run a car dealership, compared to me!   

Listen up, Jackals!!! It is I, who have taken the mantle of motivation, and passed the baton, or the torch, or if you will, please pass the hollandaise sauce.
And speaking of hollandaise sauce, I will make of every coward this kind of salad dressing!  This I will do, before I will let them sing “The Halls of Montezuma” on the shores of Tripoli, I tell you!!!
By the way, check out this shirt.  How many of you have pictures of Nassar on your shirt, eh?  I'll give you a little tip: Go to SoHo, just south of where that Tower Records used to be, on Broadway.  There'a a teeny-tiny shop there, and they sell all kinds of uniforms, and even toy airplane bombers!  I sometimes get ideas for my real bombers from them.     
People mock my title, and ask me how I got to be a 'Colonel.'
Well, I was inspired by a great man once. I was visiting my friend Chairman Mao in China...  (I almost called myself 'Chairman Mo,' but then I heard that some guy at Warner Bros. Records had taken that one. )
Anyway, as the Chairman and myself looked across the great...what is it?  
...the 'Ten Men Square', I think....
There was a gigantic picture of Chairman Mao there, but I noticed another gigantic picture, right across the square, which I must say was actually rectangular, if you ask me.

It was beautiful.
(The gigantic picture of the other man, I mean.)
Red and white, yet so pure....
A happy man, with a happy white hat.

I asked about the man in this gigantic picture, which was even bigger than Mao’s.
“Who is this man?” I asked.
“That is the man from Kentucky,” they told me, and they related the famous proverb about the man with the herbs, and everything he did for the chickens, and then they said,
“...It’s the Colonel!”
Well, there you have the story.  I am now a Colonel, too!
And if he was 'original'…I am crispy.
This is my struggle. Oh, there are occasional bouts with the diarrheas, but those are small battles, by comparison. Although, I must say the quality of those chocolate covered macadamia nuts from Honolulu has gone downhill--and this could account for some of my troubles.
I will let you know now, my plan is simple:
Once I leave the city, I bomb the city. Once I come back…I stop bombing the city. See?
So, do what you like. I say to you all, "Mubarek THIS!"
All of you who oppose me are on hallucinogenic drugs.  I know this, because my entire stash is missing.  Again, I say to you:  Return it-- no questions asked-- and maybe...hmmmm...a small reward, like I won't cut off your toes before I kill you. 
I am the Cal Ripken of dictators, and you will not break my streak!
And to all the ones who have said my speeches are the incoherent ramblings of a mad man, what do you say to me now? Hah?
In closing, I would like to quote a very touching American folksong which I learned as a young man.
"They’re coming to take me away, ha ha
They’re coming to take me away, ha ha
Ha ha, he he, ho, ho, ha ha…
They’re coming to take me away.”
Peace be on your soul. I will kill you all. I love you. Really, I do.
By the way, don’t forget to tip your waitresses and bartenders! I’ll be here two shows nightly…unless I bomb!!!
…get it?
Ha, heh…love ya, Libya!



The Colonel


________________________________
Copyright 2011 by Peter Rodman. All Rights Reserved. No portion herein may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without express written permission.

"We're broke!" --The New Mantra of the Morally Bankrupt

By Peter Rodman

“We’re broke!”

That’s the new mantra of the Evil-Doers. There. I said it.
When John Boehner gets on Meet the Press and huffs, "We're broke!" in answer to almost every question about fiscal compromise, he is floating the latest trial balloon, in a hundred-year war against labor in this country. Unions which couldn't be broken through negotiation are now being attacked under the guise of a new 'fiscal conservatism' that is as false as was the need for a trillion dollar tax-break for the rich, just two months ago.

First of all...WE ARE NOT BROKE!  Nothing has happened this week which differs from the last, to create a sudden, urgent need to kill all the public unions in Wisconsin.
That is a fact.
Besides, 'broke' countries do not gift wrap trillion-dollar cash gifts to billionaires.
Oh, wait...maybe they do. 
In fact, maybe we did!  Let's see...wasn't that just this past December?

In truth, at a time when we've just bailed out the "free market" to the tune of trillions, borrowing against the future (at extremely low interest rates, I might add) makes perfect sense.  If we do not begin competing with China, by using their (essentially free, with such low interest rates) money to re-tool our economy against the vicious outsourcing that Wall Street (you know, the guys we bailed out?) has embraced, there'll be no more America, as we know it. 
Already, the decay is everywhere you look: Shuttered shopping malls, bricked-up buildings, foreclosed houses. 
But it's not because "We're broke!"

It's because our national policy of welfare-for-the-rich has finally gone too far.
Where were the Republican complaints about 'borrowing money from China,' when we were funding the entire Iraq War with it?  Were they asleep for a decade or two, Rumpelstiltskin-style?


Republicans who are suddenly enamored of saying "we’re out of money” (Joe Scarborough, Bill O'Reilly, Paul Ryan, Sean Hannity) certainly know a good catch phrase, when they hear one. 
And having stumbled upon "We're broke!," they obviously think they've found some serious traction--enough to defend a series of draconian reforms which would transform this country forever, not for better, if we let them. 
"We're broke!" has become their "Hallelujah" chorus.  And like an under-rehearsed local choir which has discovered that lots of voices singing in unison can make anything sound better, they're stickin' to that catch-phrase.  Everybody, now!  "We're broke!"

The trick is always the same:
If you can hijack the debate at the beginning, even your opponents will be weighing only the options you choose. You set up a Hobson’s choice which doesn’t allow for any other scenarios (such as restoring the tax rates rich people used to pay) or (finally?) making the largest oil companies in America pay some tax, any tax…but not no tax, as they currently do.
I fully realize that at the top of this column, I said Republicans are "Evil-Doers."
Allow me to promise that I will  demonstrate this, by the time you are finished reading. 

For starters, to unilaterally pillage everything from national parks to public broadcasting, in the name of 'budget cuts'--with no debate whatsoever, because "We're broke!"--is a more than a slight overreach. 
The Arts have always been their favorite whipping boy, which is why they always exhume 'Piss Christ' for another beating, whenever they want to scratch that itch, to eliminate public funding for the Arts altogether.
But you know what?
It's never really worked, until now.
Because in every civilized society-- from ancient Greece, to Michelangelo's time, through the British Empire and yes, America--the Arts have been a vital, publicly funded part of what made every advanced civilization great.
So despite the ranting of the Michael Savages and Glenn Becks, the National Endowment for the Arts remains--by popular demand, actually--a feature (albeit, a tiny one) of our government.
But what they couldn't do at the ballot box, Republicans now hope to do by fiat--simply repeating the Evil-Doers' new mantra:  "We're broke!"
It's the be-all, fix-all, impose-our-will-on-all phrase of the week, at least.
But what does "We're broke" really mean?
Here's a brief translation, for the dimwitted:  "We're going to impose our will now, for your own good.  Reduce your pay.  Terminate your pensions.  Quadruple your health care bills. Oh...and eliminate funding for national parks, NPR, and yes...the Arts. But hey, it's non-negotiable! Know why? Because...
"We're broke!"

I call that "evil."
Financial experts in Wisconsin say their budget crisis was far worse two years ago than it is today.  (In fact, the Wisconsin equivalent of the Congressional Budget Office--a neutral agency--has reported that this year, the state is actually running a surplus.)
That's partly because two years ago, when asked to help out,  their state workers gave back huge chunks of their wages and benefits, in order to help keep things afloat. 

And even now, to a man, those workers acknowledge that they will have to give back more, to maintain liquidity for their state government.  In other words, mere "give backs" are not the issue.

That is not what has drawn 40,000 angry state workers to protest at the state capital in Madison, this week.  




Rather, it is their Governor's attempt to brazenly bulldoze away their very right to negotiate, which has so incensed these loyal workers.  And it may even be a legitimate question: Should government workers have the right to organize and negotiate, through collective bargaining?
(Of course, this is settled law, in most states--including the home of the cheese heads--but it may even be a debate worth having.)  
The point is, you do not resolve that question--especially after a hundred years--with a gun to somebody's head, in the middle of budget hysteria, simply by saying, "We're broke! Game over. Gimme back that pension you just worked 35 years for...NOW!  No time to talk, just do it!!!"

That is what's happening right now, in Madison.

In many ways, the labor movement gained its strongest early footholds, in the state of Wisconsin.  Workers' rights there have been carefully negotiated and hard-won, in increments, for over 100 years.  
In 1911, Wisconsin passed the first workers compensation law. 
In 1932, they led the way, in implementing unemployment compensation.
These things did not just happen by accident.
Blood has been shed, in Wisconsin...lots of it. During the nation's first-ever campaign for an 8-hour workday, union workers were fired upon (seven were killed), as 50,000 union members protested...in 1886.
That's about how far back the Republican Party wants to take this country.

After a mere three weeks in office, Emperor  Rookie-Governor Scott Walker simply declared that collective bargaining for state workers was over. Backing him up was a newly Republican-dominated state legislature, which has vowed--with no negotiation, whatsoever--to simply pass a law banning collective bargaining, for anything but wages.
That might even sound reasonable, to some. 
But if I make $20 an hour,"wages" won't help me at all, if the boss says I have to work 10 hours days, seven days a week. If work rules and benefits aren't negotiable, "wages" alone don't mean a damn thing. Without a contract specifying work rules, an executive assistant can literally be made to clean toilets--even if that has zero to do with their job description. 
And "wages" won't help me at all, if I cannot also negotiate the right to (God forbid!) have some sort of health care and retirement, to reward my 30 years of loyal service.
Wisconsin's fiscal crisis is a trumped up as is America's. 
It's all based upon a choice Gov. Walker made, just days ago, to give huge tax breaks to major corporations. So if you create a budget crisis, you shouldn't get to 'solve' it, by killing the lifeblood of state government, which is its workers, and their standard of living.

Where exactly was all this panic, when George W. Bush--who inherited a national surplus--was outspending every single President before him, combined?

When Republicans claim (falsely) that Wisconsin state workers "get twice the pension and health care benefits of workers in the private sector," they're attempting to get other workers to pressure state workers to come down to that (supposed) level.  In other words, it's a Republican "Race to the Bottom," for our standard of living.  But is it wrong to ask why we don't raise our standard of living, or at least hold on to it, instead of step-by-step tearing it all apart?  Or has corporate America so brainwashed us, that we no longer have any hope at all, let alone an 'American Dream?'  

Again, nobody is suggesting that the workers' benefits in Wisconsin cannot be reduced, through negotiation.  
The outrage comes from a governor and a legislature (let's just say it: an entire political party) which thinks it can simply ERASE a 100+ years of labor progress, which wasn't even undone by the Great Depression, in just a week or two--essentially by force, in the name of the evil-doers' new mantra: "We're broke!"

Yeah, you're broke alright.
Morally broke; eethically bankrupt, too.

All of this is not just happening in Wisconsin. In state capitals across the country, mostly where voters are unfortunate enough to have installed Republican governors a mere month ago, state workers are being shown the axe.
And when President Obama delivered a budget on Monday containing "only" a trillion dollars in spending cuts--something no President before him has ever come near--John Boehner puffed out his chest and said, "We're going to cut spending. If that means the loss of 200,000 federal jobs...so be it."  

Where was Boehner, when George W. Bush was spending THREE TRILLION DOLLARS (and thousands of U.S. lives) on not one, but two unnecessary wars?  
Where was Boehner, when Bush gift-wrapped the largest tax cut in this country's history for the rich, amounting to over another TRILLION DOLLARS?
And if we're so broke, how could John Boehner have voted for--in fact, insisted upon--yet another TRILLION DOLLARS, just two months ago, in pure gifts to the richest 1% of America? 

Can I please get a refund?

As it happens, many economic experts in Wisconsin argue that there is no ‘budget crisis’ at all, and that Gov. Walker’s move to radically lop off  the unions' heads is an unprecedented power-grab, having more to do with his party's union-busting agenda, than anything else.

Think of this:
What if the Wisconsin's new Governor had actually run for office on a platform that said, “If you elect me, and make the GOP a majority in the state senate, I’ll unilaterally declare all union contracts moot, within a month! I’ll take away your very right to negotiate! I’ll destroy your pensions, and triple your health care costs…and all, within a month, with the stroke of a pen, undoing the whole last century of worker progress!!!”

...ya think he’d still have won?
I don’t.
　
Just two months after ‘negotiating’ over $2 trillion in additional tax breaks for the richest 1% of America, the Republicans aim to pillage what remains of the middle class, simply by saying "We're broke." 
In Michael Harrington's 1962 book The Other America, he correctly defined the much-touted 'free market' Republicans love to talk about, as "capitalism for the poor, and socialism for the rich." 
Think:  Wall Street bailouts. 
　


Just a week ago, we all watched as Egypt's leadership collapsed in short order--due to the peacefeul pressure of an angry populous who'd been kept down, for 30 years.  Almost nobody saw it coming.  Certainly not Hosni Mubarek. According to Leon Panetta, not even the C.I.A. had a clue. That's how fast it all happened.
In fact, nobody predicted the effectiveness of public protests--mostly peaceful--ending, in the space of only 17 days, an authoritarian regime of 30 years, over 80 million people.  It all came tumbling down rather quickly, I think you will admit.
Let's face it, they were pissed.  

Ask yourself this:  Was it mostly about oppression, or was it really about an underclass feeling left out of the prosperity enjoyed by too few people, at the very top?
I believe it had more to do with class warfare than anything else.

What I am about to say may seem dramatic.
...but I'm going to ask you to think the unthinkable, for just a moment.

I believe it would be very foolish to assume that that will never happen here.  
In fact, my prediction is...
It will. 
I don't know when. It could be thirty years, or it could be twenty. Or it could be two.
I do know this much:  If the Republican "We're broke!" machine is allowed to run roughshod over our standard of living, it will come sooner than later.  Republicans now claim "We're broke" in 41 out of the 50 states. You show me 41 states with a Wisconsin situation, and I'll show you a national revolution like you've never even imagined, lickety split.  
 
Ronald Reagan's first significant act as President was to break the Professional Air Traffic Controllers' Organization (PATCO).  Since that time, unions and wages have gone down like a sinking ship in this country, while bonuses and pay packages and 'golden parachutes' for corporate executives have skyrocketed, beyond belief. The disparity between the average worker's pay and that of his CEO has grown in multiples of 100, over that time period.
This cannot last forever, without the people rising up. 

I am absolutely convinced that the latest wave of Republican cannibalism cannot stand.
If they are allowed to prevail with this clearly evil agenda, a Cairo-style uprising will definitely happen here.
Is that an outrageous thing to say?  Is it any more outrageous than telling some retiree to just forget about all that money they put into a pension, in return for deferring wages? 
Middle-class Americans will not continue to finance Wall Street, the oil companies, job outsourcing, and the military industrial complex while their own houses fall into foreclosure, their own paychecks shrink, their own pensions become "Oh, never mind," and their own health care costs go through the roof.

The Republican formula for implementing their strategy--I'll call it The Audacity of Hopelessness--is a recipe for revolution. 
Normal everyday Americans will not stand by quietly and watch everything go to hell, including government services they rely upon (for everything from daycare, to fixing potholes, to Head Start, to Planned Parenthood) just because some orange-faced guy likes saying, "We're broke!"


Wisconsin will go down in history as but the first, in a long series of peaceful (and perhaps even not-so-peaceful) demonstrations, by frustrated everyday workers, who've are finally figuring out that they are under attack, by some truly evil Evil-Doers.
The very radio talk shows many of those workers have enjoyed over the past few years are finally revealing their ugly reality...which is to turn on them. 
Attacking 'big government' is fun--until your entire future is at stake.  Until their are so few cops and and so few teachers and and so few firemen that basic services simply disappear. 
Until the garbageman only comes once a month, not once a week.
That is the future the Republicans are cooking up for us.
And yes...I am openly calling call it "Evil."
These guys couldn't be more evil to me if they came out with twirly mustaches and black capes, snickering, "Pay up lady, or I'll throw you out on the street!"  (I realize I'm dating myself, but silent melodramas may be the best analogy for exactly how villainous they have become.  In those days, Hollywood drew its heroes and villains in the broadest possible terms, to make it obvious who was who, since there was no sound. To me, it's just that obvious who the bad guys are, today.) 

This charade could very quickly begin to spell the beginning of the end, for this country.
Spend a trillion on two unnecessary, ten year wars; spend another two trillion giving the richest 1% of Americans tax cuts; and then get on TV and say, "We're broke!!!" 
In other words...forget about your pensions?
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) says the demonstrations outside the capital in Wisconsin “look like Cairo."
They should. He has no idea what this country will look like, if the Republican attack on unions, workers, and the middle class is allowed to spread.
Cairo will look like a picnic.

If Americans don’t speak out, hypocrites (like Ryan) will merrily proceed to continue pillaging the middle class out of existence.  They've declared “We’re broke!” and make no mistake:
They aim to take it out of the hides of working Americans.
You don't hear any cries from the Evil-Doers about rescinding that trillion dollar tax cut, do you?
You don't hear any talk of restoring corporate taxes (now at an all-time low, in this nation) to anywhere near where they were, just 15 years ago, do you?
Guess we're not really "broke" after all, when it comes to subsidizing the rich.
  
So-called Republican 'moderates' (like Morning Joe's Joe Scarborough) go completely unchallenged, when they glorify the likes of New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie for abrogating hard-won union contracts, and demonizing not just the word “union," but also the word...“pensions.”
　
Really?
Is “pension” a bad thing now, in America?
How about “contract?”
Does that word mean anything to ya?
No?  "Promises?" ..anything?

I am reminded of Imogene Heap's lyric, in the song, "Hide and Seek," condensed here:

Where are we?
What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall
Crop circles in the carpet
Sinking feeling

Spin me around again and rub my eyes
This can't be happening
When busy streets a mess with people
Would stop to hold their heads heavy

Hide and seek
Trains and sewing machines
All those years
They were here first

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity
Of this still life

Mm what'cha say?
Mm, that you only meant well
Well of course you did

Mm what'cha say?
Mm that it's all for the best
Of course it is

Mm what'cha say?
Mm that it's just what we need
You decided this?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
Mid-sweet-talk newspaper word cutouts (paper word cutouts)
Speak no feeling; no, I don't believe you
You don't care a bit
You don't care a bit

In that poem, I hear union workers building railroads.  I hear garment workers, with "sewing machines." And I hear "ransom notes," falling out of Republicans' mouths. 
And you know what?
They don't "care a bit."

It’s not hard to see how ruthless they will become. The other night, I saw Bill O’Reilly, railing against federal funding for breast-feeding pumps. (“We can’t afford it!”) This only hints at exactly how low these cannibals will go, in decimating the American Dream.

Worse still are the outright lies.
Stuart Varney, the Australian lackey for Rupert Murdoch's 'Fox Business News', got on Fox & Friends just this morning and said,
“The White House is organizing these protests.”
Really, Stu?
Really-really???
A more preposterous allegation would be hard to make, but in ‘FoxWorld’ it passes for unchallenged fact, and if they talk fast enough, nobody seems to notice.  (Well...I did.)


Rush Limbaugh went to great pains yesterday afternoon, to inform his listeners (of the protest in Wisconsin) that, “This is not a democratic protest of the citizens! This is…they’re busing people in, folks! From all over the country! This is not what it appears to be!”

His desperation was palpable. 
People simply must not believe that any of this is legitimate!
It recalled a famous movie line we all grew up with:
"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!"
From behind his curtain, this small man (well...figuratively speaking) has probably done more to foment distrust and hatred in America than any single human being on Earth. To some, he is a giant. But once you get his ‘act,’ you realize that the game is very, very simple:  Like a spider spinning his web, Mr. Limbaugh believes his powers of persuasion are limitless.
He truly believes that--no matter what the topic--he can convince his audience of literally anything--and he's right about that, a disturbing amount of the time.
'Up is down' and 'down is up,' in RushWorld.


[To wit:
Just one day after Ted Kennedy died (and before he was even buried), Limbaugh actually got on the air and claimed that Kennedy would have switched his vote to vote against health care reform, had he heard of that day's change in the process.
Imagine....a man’s entire life's work, turned upside down, by The Man Behind The Curtain, stirring his  endless brew of human outrage--a steaming daily pot of righteous indignation, which pits normal American citizens against their own system of government.
Likewise, on the health care issue, Fox News plastered their bought-and-paid-for “polls” on the screen after it passed, declaring that “most Americans oppose this” for weeks on end, as if our congressional vote was not legitimate, even though elected officials in both houses of congress, from every corner of this democracy voted on behalf of their constituents, and passed it, fair and square.
The truth is, President Obama got elected, largely because of his position on health care reform.]

The right wing in this country stumbled upon a treasured truth during the past decade, courtesy of the war in Iraq: 
If the facts do not support your position, simply make up new ones.

There will almost certainly be more protests around the country, in weeks to come.
And no, they are not going to be "coming from the White House."  They are going to come from an angry citizenry that finally realizes they are under a full-on attack by Republicans, who are seeking to finally eliminate the middle class in this country altogether.

I know it’s popular these days, to say “Don’t demonize your political enemies.”
But tell me…what exactly do you do, if your enemies behave like demons?
Is it even possible, to 'demonize' a demon?
Because if I told you that they’re so evil they’re attacking mother’s milk, you’d tell me I was making that up.
Not so. This very week, Sarah Palin and Bill O’Reilly both went after (get this) the First Lady (something traditionally thought to be a political ‘no-no’), simply because she proposed that mothers be able to more conveniently breast-feed their children in the workplace--and have better access to breast pumps, and the other supplies needed to do so.
In normal times, her suggestions would be entirely non-controversial.  But in a time when barbarians are at the door--almost literally attacking everything that makes us a civil, reasonable society--yes, even mother’s milk is under attack.
If that’s not evil, I don’t know what is.


Few have stopped to consider the motives behind all of this.
So, allow me.
One reason the feeble-minded so eagerly buy into some of these lies and myths, is that is actually makes them feel smarter.
It’s how Limbaugh makes a living.
People who who do not understand an issue are much more likely to swallow some guy saying “Aha! It’s all a trick!” on the radio…and Limbaugh understands that.
He understands that if everything isn’t what it appears to be--if ’up’ is actually ‘down,’ every time he speaks--this makes him appear smarter than everyone else, and by proxy, the listener then gets to say, “I ain’t buyin’ it, either! You can’t fool me, up IS down!!!” to just about everything--especially anything to do with "big government."
The foundation upon which their presumptions are based most often are totally false, but that simply doesn’t matter. “I’m not fooled by that!” See?  It's easy. Limbaugh understands that.
It’s the man behind the curtain, screaming that he is “the Mighty Oz.”
Pay no attention, to those pesky facts in front of you!

If we are broke, the way to fix it will involve additional spending investment;  should involve increased revenue, through taxes; and must involve big government.  (We're a big country!)
But using this so-called crisis to achieve political goals (like union-busting) is not only unfair, it's profoundly dishonest.  Nowhere will Wisconsin save a dime, in the pending budget bill, if collective bargaining is outlawed, as an amendment to it. 
That is not only dishonest, it's underhanded.
Unfair.
And yes...
Evil.


_________________________________
This column is Copyright 2011 by Peter Rodman, and may not be reproduced in whole or in part, without the author's express written permission.

Recommended Song:  Imogene Heap, "Hide and Seek":
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4OLQB7ON9w
Recommended Reference:  http://www.wisconsinlaborhistory.org/?page_id=52

Julian Assange: Of Men and Mice

By Peter Rodman

Let's face it, most of my posts follow a left-wing line, with fairly predictable consistency. 
So this may shock some of you, I know--but I'm just not ready to jump into lock-step with my fellow liberals, who seem ready to canonize 'Wikileaks' founder, Julian Assange.
After viewing his 60 minutes interview with Steve Kroft, I'm more convinced than ever, that what we have here is a mighty pale imitation of the brave whistleblowers he counts among his forebears.

And while it's true that we ought to eventually address the substance of the leaks in detail, I must say it's also entirely appropriate--and a much bigger story-- to attempt to decipher the logistics and the ethics (if any) behind how this much 'classified' information found its way on to Wiki-leaks, in the first place.

Like I say, on most issues, I'd proudly categorize myself as a 'far-left' kinda guy, but I see, in Julian Assange, a cheap-suited, garden variety 'rat'--and although I'm basing this almost entirely on my internal 'Bull-O-Meter,' it appears to me he's playing what seems like a game to him, with virtually no guiding principles, except a personal determination to exploit worldwide anti-Americanism, for his own self-aggrandisement.

My feeling is, if you believe 'classified documents' should even exist at all, then you have to accept the premise that not just anyone can or should release them, and then be able to hide behind calling themselves a "publisher." That is assuming one accepts the posit that legitimate law exists, disallowing such release, and even providing serious punishment, for same.

The outcry from the left concerns the lack of media attention given the substance of his leaks.
But anyone shocked by shady back-door diplomatic deals, legal grey areas, or even 'Spy vs. Spy' bunglings and murders in matters of international intrigue, needs to rent a few James Bond movies.
One friend of mine expressed shock, that "illegal spying, bombing, war making, and coup facilitating" was detailed, in the reems of pilfered and posted material, on Wikileaks.
Really?
I'm sorry, but that is not as big a story (if it's even a story at all) as is the inability of this nation to protect its secure secrets, period. And if those things weren't a part of our world, and sometimes even integral to our survival, why the hell would we even need "classified documents," in the first place?

In fact, it's his very lack of interest in what he's releasing,  that makes Julian Assange (to me, anyway) the much bigger (and far more dangerous) story, than any of the actual content released, thusfar.

Mr. Assange, upon realizing he was being actively hunted down for his willy-nilly, indiscriminate release of millions of classified US documents (on hundreds of random topics) purposely released the latest batch to ACTUAL publishers (something he had not done in previous dumps), like the New York Times, hoping to cloud the issue, in his own defense--once it became obvious how seriously the Attorney General was going to take this, in going after him. 
This allowed him the meek defense (on 60 Minutes) that he, "like all publishers," has special exemptions from prosecution, or even (one presumes) scorn.

He may be more imp than wimp, but a towering worldwide figure, as he seems to imagine himself? 
Not so much. 
(Then again, in the age of Sarah Palin, who can tell, anymore?)


Is he at all a "publisher," like the New York Times? 
No. Not even one like the tiny, renegade beat-poets who founded City Lights. 
Not by a long shot.
In fact, he doesn't actually "publish" anything...he simply copies and spews--spitting it all out in grain-silo volumes, like some Quaker Oats jackpot, for armchair conspiracy theorists.


If anything, Assange is counting upon the appeal of his sheer audacity, to mitigate his Kinko's Gone Wild act.

I thought Steve Kroft let him off easy in the 60 Minutes piece, by not following up on the moral distinctions in any depth. Kroft's assertion that the press community, as some sort of presumed monolith, "feels" a certain way about Assange, was preposterous--and should have had no part in the story. I suspect Kroft will find himself roundly criticized on that score in the next few days, as he came off more like a cheerleader than he should have, and cut Assange huge amounts of slack, on the open issues of legality (and morality) about these leaks, issues that even liberals like myself find unsettling, and eminently debatable.

I recently viewed the remarkable video of a 1968 conversation on Canadian television, between Norman Mailer and Marshall McLuhan.  In it, their shared prescience for the internet age was uncanny.  But even more shocking was the insightful realization that we may actually be subsuming our collective conscience, in a mindless tsunami of information--too mind-boggling to even allow for such trifles as 'moral distinction'...as personified by Assange, himself:

MAILER: "I think that there's a kind of totalitarian principle present, in this sort of avalanche of 'over-information,' if you will.  There's a lack of form, and order, and category in the modern experience, which speaks to me of nothing so much as entropy."
McLUHAN: "An electronic world re-tribalizes  man, yes."

Again, I have no doubt that large chunks of the revelations on Wikileaks do deserve closer scrutiny, vis a vis any wrongdoing behind closed doors, in our government.
But I nonetheless remain a serious fan of the country Assange couldn't give two shits about (America), and I root AGAINST hackers like him making the decisions for us all, about what is to be released, or not released.
His goal seems to be nothing more noble than the very "re-tribalization" McLuhan spoke of, in 1968. 
In effect, Julian Assange is an anarchist.
Random Doc-u-man, merry prankster, mischief maker, pick your nick-name...but please, let's not imagine for a second that this guy is any kind of hero.
The sheer randomness and volume of his releases smacks more of vandalism than valor, and shows no evidence whatsoever, of any discernable moral 'sorting mechanism.'
In other words, I don't think this guy even pays attention to content.  Just give him more, and he'll release it.
Just give him more attention, and he'll leverage it to get more to release.  And so on.

Unless you believe nothing should be held away from public view, you've got to find Wikileaks troubling, if not threatening, on at least as large a scale as the merely embarrassing diplomatic conversations contained in his millions of scattershot, stolen documents.
But it gets a little more serious than that, no matter how you feel about Afghanistan (and I am against the war, myself): Because--by Assange's own admission--informants valuable to our own 'side' may have DIED, because of these leaks.
And I'm just not sure his "Oh, well" shrugs are enough for me.

PR (center) with Pentagon Papers
whistleblower Daniel Ellsberg (right)
and jazz flutist Paul Winter(left) ,
in Boulder, circa 1981.

In fact, his whole act seems cowardly, not principled--completely the opposite of, say, Daniel Ellsberg, whom I got to know fairly well, for a brief time, a few decades back.  Ellsberg personified virtue;  Assange, on the other hand, seems virtually free of it.

I guess I'm saying something about this Assange guy strikes me as more weasely than wily; even the name 'Wiki-leaks' seems to befit a wimp with prostate problems, rather than the whistleblowing hero of 'the common man' he pretends to be. 

Don't get me wrong: I'm always glad, when tyrants--including in my own government!--are exposed as phonies, a la Ellsberg.

But I'd say this, to the 'Terrabyte Terror':

You wanna play 'cat-and-mouse' with the Big Boys, Julian?
With no regard for any specific topic, other than a generalized aim to rattle some cages, for fun?
Do you really want to test the biggest power on Earth, with your grandiose and vague threats to release more stuff--in fact, anything you please, regardless of any potential life-or-death consequences to others--just to preclude anything happening to YOU, personally?

Then don't be surprised, when the big cat you've taunted finally does decide to engage you...and in short order, just goes ahead and plays with you for awhile, before doing what cats normally do to mice.

______________________________________

This column, and all photographs and graphics contained herein, are Copyright 2011 by Peter Rodman.  All Rights Reserved.  No portion may be copied or retransmitted in any form without express written permission from the author.