Tuesday, April 30, 2013

After the Noise: A personal memoir, featuring Barry Fey



By Peter Rodman



Our plate was full, to say the least.
With deadlines looming before the Stones’ July 16, 1978 stadium show in Boulder, my wife and I were spread out all over the floor of our tiny apartment. There were markers, stencils, tracing paper, poster boards, reference books, magazines, album covers, handwritten notes everywhere, a red telephone, and an old fashioned electric typewriter.
You might say we were immersed in 'Rolling Stonesville.'
She, laying on the floor--pretty as always--putting her finishing touches on a pencil drawing of the band so gorgeous that even the Rolling Stones themselves eventually approved it--with no words, nor any trace of their ‘tongue logo’ on the front--unheard of! (Of course, the back of the shirt said “Happy Birthday, Barry!” as the show was to take place on concert promoter Barry Fey’s 40th birthday, and yes…there you would find the ubiquitous, Andy Warhol-inspired logo.)
My own mission was to create a breezy-but-comprehensive “History of the Rolling Stones,” for the 50,000+ free programs/magazines to be distributed by the Colorado Daily at stadium entrances, on Colorado Sunday #2. Nothing else would appear in the magazine, besides pictures and ads.
It was all mine.
Every word was painstakingly researched, and a handful of small “sidebars” highlighted various non-musical (or cultural) events in their lives.
Soon--with less than a week to go before they hit the stage--we had finished our work, cleaned up the living room, and turned it all in.
Some tools of my trade in the aforementioned
living room, on a much calmer day.

The shirts (now priceless collectors’ items, believe me) were ‘offset printed’ onto white t-shirts with red “rings,” a signature of the times--with 'grey factors' to capture the detailed pencil work, a much more expensive prospect back then, than mere 'block coloring.'
And the programs came out beautifully, with one glaring exception:
They’d managed to omit my byline altogether!
Over 40 pages, and nary a mention of who wrote ‘em.
Not a trace of moi.
Nice.
What's the old cliche again...

"It's only rock 'n roll..." 

Anyway, it was with no small measure of (let's call it) irritation that I fielded an angry phone call from Barry Fey about the program, a few nights before the show. It was hot off the presses, and he was equally hot under his (then-considerable) collar.
He opened in full 'Bill Graham tantrum' mode.
In fairness to Barry, that kind of over-the-top belligerence had become a sort of  'template' among rock promoters, ever since Graham’s monstrously bellicose (read: barking mad) behavior in the Gimme Shelter documentary had won him a nationwide ‘Don‘t Mess with Bill’ badge of honor.
You sometimes got the feeling Gimme Shelter was required viewing for rock promoters. Certainly Barry Fey had seen it--and he seemed to have taken pretty good notes, judging from the roaring lion on the other end of my cherry red, squiggly-wired home telephone.
(By this time, even Fey’s underlings fancied themselves as ferocious--though I never saw them as anything but tiny men behind the curtain, bluffing hopefully toward ‘Wizard’ status.)
But in this case the voice on the other end of the line was the real thing--and by that I mean really, truly chilling.
Now picture ME:
I am home, in said living room (probably in my pajamas, having a beer) taking this call--which always, to me at least, invited a little ‘Archie Bunkerness’ on my part, at the time. I may very well have been watching All in the Family.
All I remember is that I looked at my wife like,“Aw, jeez, Edith…who’s it now?”
The gravely-voiced lion began without so much as a hello:
What the fuck should I tell this kid, when he sees this?”
Well…at least I knew who it was...

“What are you talkin’ about, Barry?” I responded. (This was the rough equivalent of Alfalfa saying to Butch, “Yeah??? Put up yer dukes!” on The Little Rascals.)
I gathered some courage, and continued.
“Are you tellin’ me I get no credit whatsoever for doin’ all this stuff for you, and that’s all you have to say about the whole book?”
“This is gonna break that kid’s heart,” he insisted, lowering his voice in mock-sincere tones. “I’ll be surprised if he even wants to go onstage in Boulder now, after reading about an old drug bust in Toronto.”
Oh…that.
(At least now I knew what he was talking about.)
On page 23 or so of the program, tucked away in a corner of this mighty tome I’d slaved over for weeks, I happened to mention (in one of those tiny sidebars) how triumphant it was, that Keith Richards was once again able to tour in the U.S., his working visa having been briefly suspended, as the case made its way through the Canadian legal system--at one time threatening to put him behind bars for a goodly sum of years. This infamous arrest (added to a heap of others, in my defense) had not only made worldwide headlines, but kept the Stones from touring in the States since ‘75.

The Rolling Stones in Ft. Collins, Colorado 1975
Photograph Copyright 1975 & 2013 by Peter Rodman.
As I saw it, this was mere reportage--and more than slightly relevant to the Stones’ upcoming appearance.
On the other hand, I didn’t exactly see myself as Barry saw me--which was apparently as more of a flak than a reporter, at that juncture.
But hey, I was young--and in retrospect, that was a good thing.
Others have kow-towed to promoters since, but me?
No Sirree…“I’m a ‘reporter,’ Barry!”
So I guess in that sense, my naivete about ‘integrity’ and such helped me find a unique voice. But on this particular night, Barry was not happy--and let’s face it, the access he and his company provided me (to just about every rock star on the planet) was pretty much my bread ‘n butter.
That point, incidentally, was not lost on my wife.
Silly me-- I was under the impression the Stones had actively cultivated their 'bad boy' image!
I must add, that was the first (and last) time I ever heard Keith Richards referred to as a “kid.”

The night before the show, Barry’s threw himself a birthday party at ‘Anthony’s Garden,’ a small disco inside Boulder’s Harvest House Hotel.
There, I saw something I’ve not witnessed before or since:
It was the formidable ‘guy you don’t mess with,’ Barry Fey--way before he softened his image and dropped 100 pounds--unabashedly and wildly dancing (in public!) to the Stones’ latest hit, “Miss You.”
I still have a vision of him, surrounded by women and sycophants, waving his arms in utter glee--lost in the beat, and shamelessly singing at the top of his lungs:
and some Puerto RICAN girls, that’s just dyyyyy'na MEEETchoo!!!”
When the song ended, he made the guy play it again.
…and again.
In truth (as Barry himself would tell you), he was never really sure he’d get to promote the Stones again.
Like so many ‘larger than life’ guys, Barry Fey was riddled with insecurities. They say anger and fear are close relatives, but most people are far more comfortable displaying the former. You might well wonder how anybody with such a resume could ever doubt himself, but he did.

Mick Fleetwood-- backstage at Folsom Field,
 with his lovely inflatable friend...
Photograph Copyright 1977 & 2013 by Peter Rodman. 
 Oh sure, there were the backyard parties with Lynyrd Skynrd, before the plane crash that ate half the band; the backyard basketball pick-up games with REO Speedwagon; the good times with Bruce, the Dead, and countless others--all backed up by endless stacks of laminates and stickers, as if to prove it all.
The “birthday party” existed as much to let off steam as anything else, since the road to presenting the Rolling Stones in Boulder in ‘78 had not been a particularly easy one.
The link below features Barry telling the 'inside story' of how he got the Stones to play Boulder that year, in almost maddeningly melodramatic fashion:
Barry Fey on 'Sunday Night with Peter Rodman' --May 21, 1978*
(You may want to read on first, as this page will disappear after you click above.)

On the morning of the concert, I arrived at the designated (backstage) chain-link fence at around 6 a.m., lugging my usual 20 pounds of recording equipment. Everyone I’d seen the night before, including Barry, was still in bed…but I liked to stake out a decent perch in the press box, a secret stash for handy portable recording equipment backstage, and to familiarize myself with each of the security staff members I’d encounter over the next 15 hours or so. Freelancers have an added responsibility, I always thought, to be on time, assist in any way they can, and generally stay out of the way until needed.
Believe me, I was groggy.
Okay…hungover, too.
Even my wife groaned, “noooooo, you can’t be leavin’ this early,” but it was a short walk across the lovely University of Colorado campus from our place, and besides…I kinda liked to soak up the calm before the storm.
To his credit, the guard said, “I’m sorry, where’s your pass?” and I showed him what I’d been given by Phil Lobel the night before, but apparently this wasn’t the right pass…so rather than argue with him, I thanked the guy and simply walked back home and crawled into bed.
“You were right, it’s too early,’ I said, and fell right back to sleep beside my beautiful wife.
Phones were a lot louder back then--or at least it seemed loud, when my ‘hotline’ began ringing, at around 7:45.
I was so sleepy, I rehearsed my “hello’s” a few times before answering. “Hello…helloooo…hem, ahem…”
...Hello?
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!” 

In the pressbox at Folsom Stadium in Boulder, overlooking
another 61,000 seat sell-out, this time an Eagles show.
Photograph Copyright 1978 & 2013 by Peter Rodman.
"Barry, I didn’t have the right pass. It’s okay, I’ll be there later on…you don’t need me until…hey, I don’t even think you do need me there today, anyway!”
It was true. 
My work (creating the programs and t-shirts, and conducting all kinds of pre-show interviews on the radio) was done.
And besides, I didn't even work for Barry Fey!
“Listen," he said, calming down some, "I heard you were there (even though he wasn’t yet), and I know what happened. So you can just go back to the gate; the guy has everything you'll need.”
By this time I would rather have stayed home, but this was the nicest thing he could have done, and I wasn't about to not honor it.
So I dragged myself back to the stadium, and that was that.



Barry Fey backstage at Folsom Field in 1978,
with the Beach Boys' Mike Love--
plus a proof sheet from the Eagles show.*
Lest you think our personal or professional history was always contentious, Barry Fey appeared for a cumulative total of over ten hours on my radio show, in half a dozen comprehensive interviews (two of which are excerpted herein) over a ten-year period.  He even guested on my puny little Channel 12 TV talk show (appropriately called Who's on 12?), and allowed me unfettered access to nearly every single show he produced between 1975-1985, whether it be at Red Rocks or the Rainbow, Folsom Field, Mile High Stadium, Ebbets Field or Macky Auditorium.
Many of my work-weeks involved up to ten interviews, face-to-face, with every act from Sting to Van Halen to Zappa to the Dead, and back again.  (And by 'back again,' I quite literally mean doing fresh interviews when they all came back again, in a year or so.)
Probably the only time I ever had to beg for anything was at Red Rocks, where I’d try and get a parking pass, because they’d literally 'box in' thousands of cars alongside the mountain, and unless you were one of the 30 or so lucky cars backstage, you’d be leaving with everybody else, in the exact reverse order you came.
So that, to me, was a far more imoportant perk than any 'backstage pass.'
But the rest was pretty much just to facilitate the work, and the work was interviews.
What I got out of them was the thrill of presenting something beautiful on the air, or in print; what ‘Feyline’ got out of them was a single interview that I’d parlay into many different articles, columns, and radio shows from Colorado Springs to Aspen, all over the state.
My business card at the time, which listed many of my outlets, carried the slogan ‘Largest Freelance Music Circulation in the Rockies.’ In retrospect, the thing looked like a laundry list.

I’d like to add a few more things you might not know about Barry Fey here.
When Tommy Bolin died, Barry came up to the small funeral chapel in downtown Boulder and delivered his eulogy. A few years later, he did the same for Tommy’s former Zephyr band mate, Candy Givens. Both had died of drug overdoses.
A lesser man would have glossed over it, but Barry--to his great credit--went right at it.
His first words from the podium  at Candy's funeral were, “Listen, I have to tell you something--each and every one of you here-- and I‘m only gonna say this once. I did this for Tommy, and now I’m doing it for Candy. But I don’t wanna have to do this again.  Let me repeat that:  I don't wanna have to do this again."
Boom.
That was Barry, at his very best. The man whose reputation as a 'bully' preceded him, had actually used a pulpit to create a better 'bully pulpit' than anyone else I've ever seen.  It was brilliant.

Mick Jagger at Folsom Field, 1978
Photograph Copyright 1978 & 2013 by Peter Rodman.
In his heart, behind all the bluster, he truly felt insecure. Barry would reveal this in stunning fashion on the air with me during 1979, during our third two-hour radio interview. By this time, his 'legend' was intact--and even an interview at the Governor's mansion wasn't complete without a Barry Fey reference.
The link below features both Governor Dick Lamm's comments, and Barry's unusual 'personal revelations.' 
(Once again: You may want to read the rest of this first, as this page will disappear after you click the link--but it is worth hearing!)
Colorado Governor Dick Lamm & Barry Fey on 'Sunday Night with Peter Rodman' 1979*

At one point during the interview, he said he’d wanted to ‘go hang out’ one night, “and it wasn’t that I couldn’t get anybody to do it, it was that I didn’t know who to call.” When he mentioned that he had never even had a driver’s license, we got dozens of calls from my listeners offering to teach him to drive. In short, his candor that night was utterly disarming.
Up until then, he’d rarely (if ever) shown such vulnerability in public (that I knew of, anyway), but after the overwhelmingly sympathetic response that appearance generated, ‘opening up’ in interviews became another part of the routine, for Barry Fey.
I’ve always felt kind of proud to have fostered the atmosphere that allowed that little ‘breakthrough’ for him--and I know he appreciated it, because he began preparing anecdotes even more carefully, for all the subsequent interviews we did. Almost like an act.
But I love good radio, and Barry Fey made mighty good radio.


Another story comes to mind, though I’m sure I’ve left out dozens of better ones, in my haste.
PR with Eddie Money (at left) in
Folsom Field, 1978
On the next Stones tour, in 1981, I found myself backstage in the dressing room area, waiting for one of the opening acts (in this case, Heart) with whom I was to tape an interview, after their set.
The room was more or less circular--designed for the opposing football teams in the stadium to have their locker rooms at opposite ends of the circle. But for rock shows at this 61,000 seat venue, the various opening acts split one locker room, and the headliners (in this case, the Stones) used the other.
Now Heart had just finished up onstage, and the Stones had arrived.
In fact, I’d been standing right next to Barry when Mick walked up (I seem to remember a helicopter, but he may have just stepped out of a limo that day), and by way of a greeting said, “Barry! Have you sold the 3,000 obstructed-view seats?”
I remembered that Mr. Jagger was a graduate of the London School of Economics, and I knew he’d squeezed every dollar out of Phil and Barry during negotiations for this appearance…but still…you could’ve knocked me over with one of Keith’s scarves, when I heard that.
No “hello,” no “Nice day!” Just…
“Barry! Have you sold the 3,000 obstructed-view seats?”
I wouldn’t have believed it, if I hadn’t heard it myself!

Now you could really feel the anticipation building, between set-changes--as (for heaven’s sake!)...
The Rolling Stones were about to appear! If “Miss You” had been their biggie last time in Boulder, “Start It Up” was an even better hit to have, this time out.
Jane Rose, who handled such things for the band back then, had been very clear in our phone calls:
Don’t expect any interviews.
Learning how to make your best case and then take ‘no’ for an answer was a skill I’d now honed for seven years or so, with hundreds of publicists and managers--so I accepted my fate. (Incidentally, this paid off years later, as she got me on the plane with Keith and Ronnie and Stanley Clarke, for their ‘New Barbarians’ tour. Note to Freelancers: Be a long-distance runner. It’ll serve you well...I promise!)
But I’d be lying, if I didn’t say that some teensy-weensy, tiny part of the reason I was there to do 'Heart' was to be available, just in case the Stones had a change of heart…though they wouldn’t.
Look at it this way:  If you’re a photographer, at least bring your camera.
Okay, so back to that circular ‘ante room’ backstage in Folsom Stadium…
People were milling about, maybe 20, and I sat patiently on a bench, avoiding any conversations at all, just waiting for my Heart interview.

Ann  & Nancy Wilson (of Heart), backstage
at Mile High Stadium with Peter Rodman

Suddenly, a couple security guards came in and curtly cleared the place out.
I got up to leave.
“No,” said the guy. “You stay.”
I obeyed.
Now there was only me, on a bench in the circular white, cinder block room. It felt like being captive in a large holding cell at some prison, or being on an awkward date at some fancy restaurant. She’s gone to the bathroom, and you keep crossing your legs and nervously posing ‘just so,’ as you anxiously await her return to the table. (Or...the prison guard will be back in a moment!)
Actually, I wasn’t nervous…just self-conscious.
It seemed like it got very quiet, too, as I sat in my solitary confinement.
After a marathon two weeks preparing everything and very little sleep the night before, here I was in my ninth hour at the stadium, suddenly all alone with my idle thoughts, trying to keep alert.
What is going on? Let’s see…must be, ohhh…thirty feet across, between those doors. Should I look at the ceiling? Gotta downplay this recording equipment. What if I get kicked out? …wonder how many bricks there are in here… This went on for such a long time, I began to daydream about having made some huge mistake, and come to the stadium on the wrong day.
Now, in walks Mick Jagger. Believe you me, that'll interrupt a daydream.
Gulp.
Skinny! ...I began to 'come to'...
He was dressed as an American football player.  I'm not kidding--he had on everything but the helmet:
Crisp white football pants (knickers with pads, essentially), striped knee socks, sneakers, and a green (Philadelphia Eagles?) jersey with full shoulder pads.
In every sense of the term, this guy looked ready to play.

I didn’t even dare glance down at my prized JVC 1610 cassette recorder or the brand new $150 condenser microphone I'd bought for the occasion, both of which were right beside me. My left hand became a ball of sweat, trying to tuck the 25 foot wire closer to me, as if I could somehow hide who I was, and what I was there for.
He (Mick) seemed oddly…amused. 
It was almost like he was acting out a well-rehearsed scene, but he said nothing as he scratched his freshly shampooed hair, bobbed his famous head back and forth, and eyeballed the various white doors on the white walls which surrounded us.
I remained frozen in my seat.
Can this be happening? Where is everybody?  Do they even know I'm in here alone, with Mick Jagger? There must be 200 people behind the stage in this general area, and 61,000 more in the stadium!  Why is nobody else here at all? 
And let me just say right here and now, no famous person has ever looked so famous to me in person, with the possible exception of Muhammad Ali--and I'm not bragging when I say this, but there have been literally thousands of other interviews, over the years.
So I guess the good news about Mick is, certain people look just exactly like who they are.
The bad news…?
I was starstruck.
Finally, he spoke...in crisp-upper-(famously)-lipped, veddy British tones... 
“Do you 'appen to know where I might foind Haahht?”
“Oh!” (I snapped out of it again.) “Uhhh, yeah. I think they’re in there," I said, pointing to one of the doors.
Then came my geekiest moment:
I’m here to interview them!” I blurted.
Groan.
Way too late for a pitch, Petey...

It turns out that more than a decade before they invented the term, I’d been “Punk’d!”
The whole thing was a set-up!
You’ll just have to take my word for it: Nothing like that ever happens by accident--especially at a Stones show. That much, I know.
Barry would never fully admit that he’d set me up…but I know he did.
Perhaps it was his way of apologizing for some of the rough treatment I'd endured over the years, especially during the '78 Stones fiasco. Or maybe he felt more grateful to me than I even knew, for all the interviews and writing and hard work.
I dunno.
But I ain’t been ‘got’ like that anytime before or since, that's for dang sure!
Not many folks can use Mick Jagger for their practical jokes, either.
But Barry Fey could!
And hey...at least I got 'Heart.'

In 2008, I was asked to speak at the 30th reunion of the University of Colorado Program Council (CU’s student event board), celebrating the ‘The 1978 Pepsi Summer of Stars,’ which had featured stadium shows by the Beach Boys, Eagles, and Rolling Stones, plus dozens of other acts in smaller venues. 
George Harrison at McNichols Arena, 1974.
Photgraph Copyright 1974 by Peter Rodman.
It was to be a 'whole weekend' affair, so I happily reserved myself a little log cabin at the old ‘Foot of the Mountain’ hotel, and flew out to Boulder from my home in Nashville to see everybody again.
I had no idea it would all come rushing back to me, after having left Boulder behind, during the mid ‘80s…but there were all the wonderful faces I’d worked with so closely, from Phil Lobel (my main connection to Feyline) to Stu Osnow and Bob Webster (all Chairmen of the PC at various times); Jc Ancell (Facilities Manager for CU, and a key liason with the City of Boulder); Bob Greenlee (the former owner of KBCO, where Sunday Night with Peter Rodman had aired for the better part of a decade), etc.
On Friday night we all convened at The Harvest House, in that same little bar/disco where Barry had held his party 30 years earlier, the night before that ‘78 Stones show.
Now, everyone was all grown up--balding, grayer, larger, older, and presumably wiser.
It was quite a trip.
Barry seemed delighted to be there. It seemed oddly as if he hadn’t been out of the house in a while.  He’d eventually been forced out of the rock promotion business, as corporate conglomerates came into town, hired up some of his old hands, and simply muscled him right out of the picture.
Paul McCartney playing "Yesterday"
on the 'Wings Over America' tour in '76,
at Denver's McNichols Arena.
Photograph Copyright 1976 & 2013 by Peter Rodman.
He looked content, but sort of shriveled up now--with a Wolf Blitzer/snow-white beard, and the sort of pale frailty you normally see in the halls at hospitals.
I decided to film a few moments on my (then new) fLiP camera, and as I began zeroing in on Barry, he was debating some past memory with one of the guys.
FUCK you!” he barked at the guy, with great emphasis, “You didn’t do that, I did that!!”
Then he noticed the camera, and his facial expression changed in an instant, from Ralph Kramden to Gleason's classic 'Poor Soul.' Turned out he was only trying on his old shoes for a second, because the man who was here tonight wasn't the same person who used to relish a fight. 
Barry Fey had changed.
He eyeballed my camera nervously now, and tried to deflect the attention his outburst might have gathered.
“Oh, that’s nice,” he said. “What is it?”
“It’s a fLiP!” I said, “and it’s a movie camera!”
I’d never seen Barry blush before, but his face got all red, and suddenly he seemed mortified, to realize he'd been caught on camera, doing his 'legendary Barry Fey' impression. We all joked around for a little while longer--but right then and there, I knew he had long since reassessed that ‘Bill Graham’ approach to life that had once served him so well. I felt guilty even looking at the footage later, but Barry later sent me a note saying I should have gotten more such footage! (see video link and Barry's note, below)
Clearly, life had quieted down for the Big Guy.
It had a big night out for him. In all those intervening years, he’d become considerably more fragile. His embarrassment at that key moment--even though it lasted only a second--was captured on video, and belied even more sensitivity than he'd shown in all of those ‘revealing’ interviews, so long ago.
The next day, we all met up at The Greenbriar for dinner.
Barry was a no-show. 
Maybe it's just my own perception, but it seemed like he just felt out of his element, pretending to pal around with old men and women he’d once known as college kids and/or employees. Whatever it was, his expected attendance never materialized. I became the de facto 'keynote speaker' at the dinner.

never saw him again.
But he slowly began showing up on Facebook a few years back, and pretty soon he’d come up with a memoir, too. Now he was all over Denver, signing books and recounting old tales, posing for pictures with strangers and revisiting his ‘Backstage Past,’ as the book title put it.
And that’s just it: I think the Barry of recent years felt removed enough from his ‘golden era’ to not only appreciate it, but to appreciate living without it.
That’s why, in a real sense, he could only revisit, not re-live it.
You get tired; you really do.
One such book-signing took place at a Walgreen's in south east Denver, on the former site of the Rainbow Music Hall, where everybody from Sting to Journey had started out, on their first-ever tours. The only trace of its "legendary" past is a little sign out front, just above the word Walgreen's--right over the LED marquee that scrolls through toothpaste sales and camera department specials.   

We had quietly begun sending notes back and forth via Facebook, and I’ll keep most of that stuff confidential, but it was often amusing tidbits about the supposed 'big-wigs' who'd succeeded him, many of whom he'd personally shown the ropes.
We talked about what we'd each been through (sometimes together) and shared a few lil' chuckles.
And in the end, he made sure to let me know he respected me after all, and I'm glad I did the same for him.
Not long ago I sent him another little note of appreciation.
Leave it to Barry.
He was full of surprises, but his response this time caught me off-guard:
                                              
“love you pete…”

That was in January of 2013; Barry Fey took his own life near the end of April.
Rest in Peace, Barry.

I liked you even better after all the noise.


________________________________________
*This article and all related photographs, videos and graphics are Copyright 2013 by Peter Rodman. All Rights Reserved. No portion herein may be used or redistributed without written permission.
________________________________________
ADDITIONAL NOTE (added on 5/8/13):
Barry Fey took his own life on April 28, 2013.
________________________________________
+Below is a link to the video of the referenced weekend I spent in Boulder in June of 2008, for the "30th Anniversary of the Program Council's 1978 Pepsi Summer of Stars." It features not only Barry Fey, but Phil Lobel, Stu Osnow, and many of the others mentioned above.
Underneath the video you will find several "Facebook" comments...one of which came January 18, 2013, from Barry Fey himself:
"you did a beautiful job peter, however if i had been featured more ???" 
(Note:  If you are not on Facebook, you may not be able to play this video.  It lasts just under 20 minutes.)

Sunday, January 20, 2013

My Gun Story


By Peter Rodman




This is a true story. 
The cutest boy in our neighborhood was a 5 year old kid named Billy. He used to knock on our door and offer my mother "free toads" he'd found in the dirt.
Our parents were great friends, who belonged to the "junior woman's club" in the area, and socialized often. It was nothing for 10 or 20 couples to gather for cocktails, on a summer evening.  
One day Billy's older brother Robby--who was maybe 9 at the time--found his Dad's shotgun, way up inside the attic trap-door. He then located the ammo in a bedroom dresser drawer, and just to see if he could, he tried loading the thing. 
You know the rest: It went off, killing little Billy. 
Needless to say, that family was never the same.  The parents were rarely ever seen again--and certainly not at social functions. And everyone wondered what happened to the poor kid who'd inadvertently shot his little brother to death.
On a trip to NY last year I noticed some activity outside their house, which was directly behind ours.  I drove on at first, but then turned the car around, and parked across the street. An old man was loading some rusty junk either in or out of his truck, I couldn't tell which. I sat there for the longest time--unsure of whether to re-start the car and forget about it, or get out and ask a few questions.

Finally, I got up the courage to walk over.
"Hi...I was wondering...do the Johnson's still live here?"
"Why?" said the old man.
"No reason," I said, "I was just curious.  I used to live around the corner behind this house, that's all. I was friends with Robby, and my little brother was friends with Billy. Our whole family knew them."
"Who are you?"
I told him. He kept loading stuff in and out. 

Finally he said, "My name is Robby Johnson. I don't really remember..."
You could still see the pain in his eyes, under a scraggily grey beard and his bald head, with long chunks of white hair ringing the bottom and sides. Most guys would wear a cap, if they looked like that--this man didn't bother. I could hardly believe that this guy, at least a year or two younger than I am, looked like he was 70. 
I tried again: "I'm Peter. We were the Rodmans..."
"...Which house, again?"

He stared at me as if trying to see through time. 
In another moment or so, his 'memory search' just seemed to come up empty, and he apologized--saying he could only faintly remember the name, if at all. It was as if I'd blown some dust off an old shelf, but even so....this person, whoever he was now, had never even heard of us.
There were awkward silences, as we struggled to find words.

I wanted to say something nice--anything to let him know the past is gone, and to wish him well.  After all, it'd been 50 years since this happened.
"Robby, I'm glad I stopped and found you here," I started. "I really  hope life has treated you well. So...what have you been up to, lately?"
"I collect things," he said matter-of-factly. "I just collect things."
I asked about his parents; they'd both passed on years ago. An older sister got married and  moved away, too... 
"But I'm still here," he said.  "Still here."
There were no traces of humor, nor even any sadness or hostility--just a blank shell, going through the motions of life, delving deep into the things he might find laying around at garage sales and flea markets--as if there were less hurt to them, less of a chance he might lose them and care too much to bear.  Not again.  Anything...but not that.  It didn't feel to me like Robby was even in there. I'd just met an anonymous prisoner, trying to quietly serve out the rest of his time in some cage I couldn't even see.
I thought of Billy. 

One could never forget that face. As little as he was, he always seemed to be tanned, because he loved to play outside in his backyard--digging tunnels and collecting worms, or all those sprightly toads he would amass in a great big steel pail, endlessly entertained by their zest for jumping, each trying to outdo the other--his brown hair sun-bleached to match a bright little-boy smile, the kind a kid can only have before they lose their baby teeth.  
His parents, by all accounts, had been broken to bits.  Just never again could they face a world with such sadness in their hearts. Robby said they'd gone off to Florida to retire, as many New Yorkers do, and when the Mr. Johnson died, it wasn't very long at all before Mrs. Johnson followed. 
I can still remember how my parents' social circle from the woman's club had tried to coax them back out into life, always extending party invitations that went unanswered. 
Then I thought of Rob. 
I kept looking into his face as he spoke, sifting--always sifting through stuff, and looking away. What must the years have been like, immediately after it happened?  How did he get by, how did he even go on?
After I drove off, I was surprised to find I couldn't actually feel anything.  It was like I wanted to feel sadness and couldn't; nostalgia, and couldn't; pity, and couldn't; fond memories, and couldn't.
There was just a kind of emptiness that Robby had almost seemed to transfer to me, through that last handshake. 

For him, there would be no moving on.  Not now, not ever. 
He would continue along, content to shuffle through all this junk he'd collected, trying to better organize things. That's all.

It might as well have happened yesterday.

_______________________________________
This article Copyright 2013 by Peter Rodman. All Rights Reserved.
Note: Some names (and certain details) have been altered to protect peoples' privacy.

Please click on the following link,which
contains some eye-opening statistics: 
http://www.q8spoons.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/wpid-2013-01-01-12-47-37.png

Thank you.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

HISTORIC ‘OUTRAGE OUTAGE’ HITS FOX NEWS

Possible Conspiracy Alleged

By Peter Rodman
 

October 30, 2012--
An unprecedented 12-hour pause in their endless barrage of feigned outrage hit Fox News yesterday, in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. Unable to fashion any storm-related stories into anti-Obama hysteria, Fox finally threw in the towel and canceled Bill O'Reilly's show altogether Monday evening.
Taking over for O'Reilly was Shepard Smith, who did a credible job of reporting, albeit with a curiously obsessive focus on the Fire Island area.

The one brief blood-pressure boost for those suffering from “outrage withdrawal” came when Sean Hannity tried to shoe-horn Dick Morris into his 'storm coverage.'
While it was hard to determine the connection at first, apparently Van Jones and the Reverend Wright conspired with a very young Barack Obama back in Kenya during the 1950s to create this ‘Hurricane Sandy’ hoax, a mere week before the 2012 election.
“And you can be sure Hillary had something to do with it,” sniffed Morris, between sips of red wine.
Following Hannity’s broadcast, literally dozens of objective news people apparently escaped from darkened closets in the News Corp. building, which was itself immersed in a blackout, and suddenly took to the airwaves with objectivity and common sense--a tactic which could very well cost them their jobs later this week.
‘Shelters for the Angry,’ a charity supported by the Romney campaign, has offered to provide free telephoned falsehoods to any viewers unable to cope with the dearth of support for their daily anger fix from Fox News.

"This storm is further proof Obama lied
about Libya," said Hannity.
It was the first time anyone could recall a hurricane, a flood and a snowstorm pre-empting the 24/7 snowjob Fox has provided without interruption, since October of 1996.
Said Fox CEO Roger Ailes, “Not to worry…this in no way confirms an emotional 'climate change' of any kind. We’ll be back to full-time outrage by early evening Tuesday, I assure you. Nothing to see here, just move along…”



Preparations are already underway for a return to the normal
Fox News "Red Meat" diet for the perpetually angry,
just in time for Tuesday's primetime line-up. 

______________________________________________
Copyright 2012 by Peter Rodman. All Rights Reserved.
_____________________________________

Stay safe, Y'all!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

"I Got the Wednesday Morning Decline-of-Civilization Blues"

By Peter Rodman



“I woke up this morning.”
Yeah, I know. A lot of blues songs start out that way, don’t they?
This one’s no different...or maybe it is.
See, I woke up this mornin' and the first thing I heard…was my TV.
On ‘Morning Joe,’ Willy Geist said “We’ve got a lot of news to get to this morning--it’s been a busy 24 hours, for sure.”

He sounded more serious than usual.

First came a report that Libyans had stormed the American embassy in Benghazi, and actually managed to kill the United States Ambassador, inside its doors.
“How strange,” I thought.
Embassies around the world are more or less sacrosanct, aren't they?  

Oh, sure…there was Iran in 1978--but for the most part, every nation on Earth has a fairly solid compact not to attack each others’ embassies--at least if they want to have any relationships at all. 
That’s why even Julian Assange sits safely in London today, inside the walls of the Ecuadorian Embassy.  He's wanted for everything from rape to treason in several major countries, but is not in any personal jeopardy, as I write this--because he remains inside that embassy's walls.  
So the first story of the day was this horrible event inside our embassy, in Libya.
Then, it was on to Egypt--where a (seemingly) similar action against the American embassy was underway.
What the…?  All of this, overnight?



'Pastor' Terry Jones
Come to find out, in the words of Geist, it was “all because of a little known, deservedly obscure anti-Muslim video with only 6,000 views on YouTube, put out by Florida preacher Terry Jones"--the same dope who got famous threatening to hold Koran bonfires, putting American civilians and soldiers at risk around the world.
So now this guy has succeeded in triggering riots throughout the Arab world--and at least one prominent American’s death--simply by producing a crude ‘documentary’ online, alleging that the prophet Mohammad was, among other things...gay?
Well, hold on a minute...

It turns out the Egypt riot was indeed a result of the crowd's fury, over the blasphemous film. 
Note: It resulted in a grand total of two flags ripped, some grafitti, and a lot of horn-honking. (Which, if you have a good TV sound system, might just make you get up and look out the window, like I did.)
Anyway, thanks a lot to the nutball preacher.
It would be hard to calculate the distance humanity has come from following Jesus or Mohammad (both of whom advocated peace) to get to this point, but we'll get to that later.
The Libyan ambush was much more likely a long-planned terrorist attack, timed to coincide with the anniversary of 9/11. This we did not find out, until much later in the day.

As the folks at ‘Morning Joe’ sat around their plexiglass table drinking Starbucks, and lamenting the YouTube movie's cause-and-effect, I realized I was now fully awake.
Mike Barnicle said this: “We live in an age where some guy in his white boxer-briefs can sit at home in his basement and post something in Florida, and people halfway around the world start killing people, because of it.”
"True that," I thought.



Gretch
 Then I switched over to the always dyspeptic ‘Fox & Friends,’ where they’d already spun the day’s events into a delicious hate stew--stirring their obsessively anti-Obama cauldron as gleefully as ever, well before the 7 o'clock hour.
There sat Gretchen Carlson, a former  'Miss America' whom I still remember from an airplane ride during her 'reign' in the ’80s, as her “handler” relayed the Queen's breakfast choices to the crew, prima donna style.

She's the same arrogant git, decades later--with the same disdainful, condescending glint in her eye, squinting at the camera as if to say, “See? See how Obama has botched everything?”
A true authority, she.

By her side were the two dimpled guys, who trade off carefully scripted anti-Obama banter non-stop every morning, as if they’re worried that they just might miss turning one more Fox viewer against the President. (I'd like to think they've already gotten 'em all, but hey...)

In Fox World, to hear them tell it, all this overnight violence somehow related to the President “dissing” Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu, whose hawkish ways got him elected, but might also entangle us all in third World War, if pre-emptive strikes against Iran are allowed to take place--especially before the American election.
In an effort to discourage his crazy-talk, President Obama decided he would not meet with Netanyahu next week in New York, as the world convenes another United Nations season of debate.
You know the UN, right?

That's the place embassies exist for. 
In New York, embassy employees (or anyone with a coveted 'diplomat' license plate) can park anywhere in Manhattan with ‘diplomatic immunity,’ while the rest of us get approximately $1500 in towing fees! 

So, just to review…
Overnight, a dedicated public servant who’d spent his whole life working his way ‘up’ to an important ambassadorship got summarily executed in the American Embassy, in Libya.

In Egypt, the American Embassy got stormed by an angry mob, inspired by a YouTube video virtually nobody knows about here.
Posted by a Christian minister. Exploiting an obscure (Coptic, it’s called) Christian sect in the Middle East. Igniting age-old tribal, human furies that know no depths, between various religions.
Were these two events related?
They sure seemed to be...


Meanwhile, back on ‘Fox & Friends,’ they decide they need an ‘expert pundit’ to help us all sort out the news…so who better than Dick Morris?
You remember Dick, don't you?

You know...the disgraced former Clinton aide, who got fired during the 1996 Democratic Convention in Chicago, after getting mixed up in a prostitution scandal?
Yep, that Dick.
The same Dick who has since dedicated his entire life to destroying anything and everything with the name ‘Clinton’ anywhere near it.
Especially ‘Hillary Clinton,’ about whom he’s written several scathing books: Behind the Oval Office, Condi vs. Hillary, Outrage, Off with their Heads, Power Play, and the most appropriately titled Rewriting History--to name a few.
Morris comes on camera and excoriates President Obama (well, not exactly--on Fox he’s never called “President Obama”…he’s just “Obama”--and there's a certain preferred, derisive tone about it) as having created the whole situation, through his bad foreign policy.

Try it along with me, won't you?
"Oh-BOMM-uh."
As in, "Abomination."
“This blows wide open the notion the Democrats have been touting, that Obama is strong on foreign policy,” Morris crows. “He isn’t, and here’s the opportunity for Romney to make that point.”
The hosts (shocker, I know) nod their heads solemnly, in agreement.
But they don’t stop there.


An hour later, the Fox hosts are claiming “the United States response  has been to basically apologize” for the preacher’s video.
They merrily bounce off each others' (pre-written) thoughts about how "weak" our foreign policy is, adding well-placed asides, like this one from Steve Doocey:
“And the two Americans shot along with our Ambassador? (nods here knowingly, for effect)...U.S. Marines!”
Guest after guest piles on, and by the 8 o'clock hour, Doocey has honed his act down to its very essence: 
"So!" he demands of one guest, "Act of War?"  

He says it hopefully.
The Foxholes prattle on, about how "this is Obama's Jimmy Carter moment," blah blah blah, "it's exactly like 1978," blah blah blah, until I can no longer listen. 
You get a year's worth of smirks, just watching these three stooges for one morning.  One wonders how even people who agree with them can inhale this stuff each day, without getting indigestion.


Question: Are the two separate events depicted
 in this 'picture' at all related?
Answer: Only if you want them to be.
 Not a word was spoken on 'Fox & Friends' about how some fanatic Christian guy set up the whole firestorm--nor was there much about how the President will have a mere three days after that UN visit, to prepare for his first debate in five years with Romney, who's had 20+ practice debates this year on national TV, against the likes of Herman Cain, Rick Perry, Newt Gingrich, Michelle Bachmann and Ron Paul. 
Should President Obama essentially give up the job,  just to provide some showy 'meet-up' with an Israeli leader who's become a sabre-rattling brat, of late?  
And if he did do this, what about the gazillion other leaders who’d like a photo-op at the U.N. with him?  I mean, hey...if you’re gonna meet with Netanyahu, you’ve gotta meet with every other leader in the Middle East, right? 
Maybe not such a great idea, if all you’ll be talking about is a Terry Jones movie made with somebody’s fLiP camera.
My advice?
Practice for that debate, instead.

Meanwhile, Romney practiced attacking the administration's approach to foreign policy, even before the sun rose. (That'd be before the embassy murders in Libya, for those keeping score.) By the afternoon, it appeared to have been a well-planned terrorist 'precision strike,' not a mob responding to some kook's anti-Muslim film at all.

But early Wednesday morning, you'd have thought the President himself was one of the attackers, to hear the Romneycans tell it.  Sen. Lindsey Graham chimed in (on Fox, of course) about Obama's "lack of leadership that's about to make the middle east explode!
And on and on, it went.  So much for the longstanding American tradition of presenting a 'unified front,' in times of crisis.

Maybe I’ll get out of bed, I thought. 
Feed the cat, get online…
First thing I knew, Morgan Freeman was dead.

One of the many 'amusing' internet ideas that
greeted me this morning on facebook.
A good friend and fellow radio veteran of many decades had posted the sad news.

Wow. Really?
“Oh, dear,” I thought.
I started my first post of the day: “Wow…Morgan Freeman.”  But for some reason, I didn't post it; I took a second to think about it.
I’d heard nothing about that on TV, and I'd been watching all morning!  
Oh well…busy news day, huh?
Still...he's Morgan Freeman, for cryin' out loud!  You'd think they would at least mention it.
As I read back on his original 'Morgan Freeman' post, I saw that it urged ‘everyone who cared’ about Morgan to “comment here” or “click like,” if you've ever liked anything Mr. Freeman ever did. Then I scrolled down my ‘Newsfeed,’ and did not seeing anything else about it.
Finally, I googled “Morgan Freeman dead?” only to find it’s a commonly known internet hoax--and not even a new one, at that.

So I messaged my radio friend privately--not wishing to embarrass him--and went back out on the ‘feed.’ There, I found the usual array of (false) John Lennon quotes; ridiculously over-colorful, un-natural 'nature pictures' that friends thought might 'inspire' me; a YouTube video entitled “Snoop Dogg endorses Obama with Multiple F-bombs;” and then the
photo (at right), captioned thusly:
"Michelle and the girls at the Olympics. Gee thanks for supporting the United States, their country. What a bunch of losers. See your tax dollars at work!!! How patriotic! The Obamas display their colors at the Olympics. Really?  South Africa?? Gee thanks, ladies for your support!!!"
The photo is from a South African visit almost two years ago.
The caption, of course, is false.
As with the Morgan Freeman thing, the Lennon quotes, the Photoshopped pictures, anything attached to the names 'Bill Cosby' or 'George Carlin,'  and that whole thing about Congress making full pay for life, while the rest of us suffer.

It kind of reminds me of something Abraham Lincoln once said: "Don't believe everything you read on the internet...and even less of what you see!" 
Later on in the day, I posted a comment explaining to another friend that the picture they loved of Jimi Hendrix playing the accordion was itself a photshopped fake.  The response?
"so don't wreck it mr. know it all"
It's all harmless enough fun, I guess.
Or is it? 
Well....my morning was. But it turns out even savvy media folks, like my radio friend--heck, like me!--get fooled, every now and again.
And every so often, somebody's head gets blown off, because of some little YouTube video somebody posted.
Or does it?
You'd almost have to watch TV to get the story straight, instead of relying on the internet...right? 
Wrong...maybe.

 

Yes, I woke up this morning.
But other than that, I'm not sure of much.  Everywhere I went it appeared to be the end of the world, as we know it. I just can't tell you why; could be one thing, could be 'nother.
May God help us all.
Or Allah.
Whichever.

___________________________________
Copyright 2012 by Peter Rodman.  All Rights Reserved.
____________________________________________________
[Graphic by Bob Stillman]

Sunday, August 12, 2012

And in Closing, We Will Probably Complain...

By Peter Rodman


Though much of it turned out to be a random celebration of rock music, last night's closing ceremonies in London actually helped the 2012 Summer Olympics hit their absolute peak, with a show-stopping moment that totally “gets it” about the games.
But I predict not everyone will be as pleased as the rest of the world was with that moment, here in the “let's-pretend-we're-all-puritan” States.

The 'moment' I speak of would of course be the stunning spectacle of 60,000 people drifting from “Bohemian Rhapsody” into John Lennon’s “Imagine”--the one song nearly everyone in the world knows was custom-made for such an occasion.
I say “nearly” everyone, because you can almost hear the Mike Huckabees and Rush Limbaughs of the world already slamming Britain, for having some sort of anti-Christian agenda (they don’t) and kow-towing to a secular, socialist world agenda (they didn’t).

Back to the Ceremonies: 
First, there were the hundreds of  hearing-impaired kids, assembled to gleefully ‘sign’ the song’s lyrics, as ghostly dancing creatures seemed to converge from around the world to literally assemble John’s face, like a three-dimensional puzzle.

But the real stunner--and the most amazing thing about this song, really--is how immediate the lyrics sounded, when John’s digitally restored image suddenly appeared before the whole world, to speak from the hereafter:
“Imagine there’s no countries,” he began…and you had to think, "Now that's a ballsy call, coming as it does in front of every country!" Especially after each one had displayed--no...flaunted their nationalism, during this past fortnight.

“It isn’t hard to do,” Lennon continued, and I thought “Ya know, that might make things better, if it were only possible.”
“Nothing to kill, or die for…”
Man…that’s the real Olympic spirit, i’n’it??

And then came the kicker--which would never have happened, in America:
“…and no religion, too.”

Like I say, a ballsy call--or at least it would be here.
Let me add that I agree with the whole song-- despite the fact that (perhaps inexplicably in logical terms, but on faith alone) I still count myself a Christian. 
Even 'The Queen' is made of Jelly Babies!
(Photograph by Peter Rodman)
Lennon didn’t attack Christianity, Judaism or Islam...he only spoke the truth, which is that ALL of those religions (and many others) have been at the very heart of why nearly every war has been fought, since time began. Again...it's not the beliefs...not the faith...but the edicts from organized religion that are usually to blame--just as Lennon states.  
And finally: “Imagine all the people, livin' life in peace.” 
Last night it became very clear, John Lennon was not ‘the only one’ imagining that.  

To the rest of the world, I am quite sure this was a controversy-free moment...and I believe any viewer could easily sense this, watching the ceremony.
But here in America, we are stuck in the midst of a tyrannical tar-pit right now, which I believe will one day be looked back on as having virtually crippled us, during a curiously anti-progressive era.

I guess the whole point of this column is to say how refreshing it might be not to have to worry about "offending" the Blue Meanies, here in the States...but in truth, you just can't avoid it anymore. (Sadly, not much has changed, since 1966. Check out this video: Beatle 'Record Burnings,' 1966 )

No other nation on the planet batted an eyelash on Sunday night, over the selection of John Lennon's words...and that's a good thing.
We are alone in the world in nit-picking such things...but rest assured, if we can...we will. (And if it doesn't happen, I promise to rescind this entire blog post.) 

...your intrepid observer, in London.
 But I just can't help believin' that first thing Monday morning, most of my countrymen and women will wake up to the usual indignant tirades on hate-talk radio, or 'Fox & Friends.'

Just you watch:  
Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Fox will fire up their Outrage Machine to tell us all we’re all going to hell-in-a-hand-basket (made in China, of course)...and you know why?
Because THE REST OF THE WORLD ARE ALL DIRTY ROTTEN SECULAR SOCIALISTS, TRYING TO  RUIN THE GREATEST COUNTRY ON EARTH!
(That'd be us.  Follow along, People!)


Remember of course, these are the same folks who got their knickers in a twist (like that Brit-reference?) simply because a 16 year old Gold Medal-Winning American gymnast's pretty little pink uniform wasn't red, white, and blue enough.

So much for taking unabashed pride in our very best athletes. (One can't help but wonder what other color was 'off' in their minds.)

That, my friends, is where we are in this country right now.  Trapped by zealots, who talk about "principles"--but in reality, seem principle-free; they are simply addicted to outrage. 
More accurately, they'd like us to be--and all too often, we take the bait. 
The better to trick you with, eh?
These same people, if they could get away with it, would tell you Jesus himself was a capitalist~and that he would take from the poor, to give to the rich!

And how do we know this?
Well, one way we know this is because the Limbaugh/Beck/Huckabee crowd recently got nabbed selling Thomas Jefferson as some sort of gung-ho, Christian anti-slavery guy--over a period of nearly the whole last year--before conservative fact-checkers finally caught up with 'em! (Jefferson was nothing if not a secularist--and oh, by the way: He. Owned. Slaves.) 
Even the Nashville-based Bible publisher (Thomas Nelson) who put out the book they love to cite has finally withdrawn it (<<click link)--on the recommendation of several conservative Christian authorities.*

So like I say, the talk machine will be workin’ overtime Monday, to remind us good ‘muricans’ that John Lennon was a junkie/hippie/radical/atheist/socialist nut, who represented everything Amur'ca isn‘t about.
Just like all those annoying foreign countries we beat the pants off.
Yeah, man.
France, Greece, China, Spain, Russia, Sudan, Egypt, you name it...we have a long list of folks we love to hate. 
Not all of us, mind you...but enough to stir up faux-controversies daily, stoke the radio ratings, and maybe even get you angry that the sky is blue...or that John Lennon's “Imagine” got proudly sung by the whole planet last night, despite those dangerous lines about "religion" and "countries." 

Buy it, if you will. 
But if you'll buy that--and I don’t mean to insult anybody here--you might even buy (gulp)...‘Romney for President.’



___________________________
Copyright 2012 by Peter Rodman.  All Rights Reserved.
________________________________
*Thanks to Craig Havighurst, for calling my attention to the linked story. 
_______________________________
Possibly Relevant Song/Video Links:
"Always Look on The Bright Side of Life" by Monty Pythion (Eric Idle)
"Imagine" (rare 'take one') by John Lennon
"Colours" by Donovan